Things I am thankful for

Last year was the first year I decided Thanksgiving would be declared MY favorite holiday. No bullshit of shopping for gifts, or putting up decorations, taking 'em down...although fun, I don't care for the pressure. Thanksgiving is pure and simple: food, family, football, naps, cards, all the essentials. In light of Thanksgiving I give to you THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR...(in no particular order)
1) Auto-start. Although not as cold as it should be this time of year (today was the exception...brr), typically it starts to come in handy in early Nov. 6:45 am, it's still dark out and*boop* car starts and warms up while I finish making my tea inside.
2) Honey and lemon...together they are unstoppable. Together in tea...invulnerable. Using my teacher voice every day strains the cords, so a little honey and lemon in the am makes for a sweet panacea to a sore throat.
3) The VS Angels underwear...seamless, comfortable, flexible, moves with the body, wedgieless.
4) Milk, but only whole, 2% and 1%. Screw skim. It's nothing but a wanna-be punk. Copy cat.
5) Doug. On days when he remembers to take the garbage out.
6) My I-pod. I listen to it in the faculty room while grading papers. It drowns out the bitter complaints and gossip of the old hags I work with.
7) Costco's white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Simply irresistible.
8) Being able to work, making my own money and spending my own money. Weak women make me want to puke.
9) The pill. I can actually function, move, breathe without hurting. Yeah for medicine.
10) Elvis. His music has pulled me out of my most recent musical rut. The king lives on.
11) Burt's Bees Lip balm- no alcohol which means no drying. All natural wax and lanolins.
12) XM radio. Love the variety
13) String cheese
14) Ticonderoga Medium pencils
15) Sonicare toothbrush. It's like a massage in your mouth.

Merry Thanksgiving!

Sense Part Two (installment #7)

Sense: Part II I write. Most often it goes unread, only a lucky few get to skim. This is a piece I've been working on for some time now--not sure if it will be a short story or much longer. It's a work in progress. Suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome. Working title- Sense Installment # 7 (continued from October 16th )

That weekend we are at his house for a party. Peter’s house. It’s my first time there, but I had seen it in my dreams many times before. He gives me a tour, kitchen, living room, dining room first. Then we go upstairs. His room is decorated with posters: Harley Davidsons, Bon Jovi, Michael Jordan, Cindy Crawford. His bed is only a single, but it looks bigger to me. I imagine us lying next to each other kissing; others in the room banish my day dream. Alex, Louca, Erica, Litsa, Ellena, Christy. Christy likes to wear button down shirts. The material stretches around the buttons and you can almost always bank on a peripheral boob shot. When she writes notes you can always bet that there will be a dozen or so spelling mistakes. She claims it’s dyslexia, I think she’s just dumb. I am not very compassionate in that sense. She eats skittles and snickers bars for lunch and complains in gym class when the teacher has us jog around the basketball court. Her best friend is Litsa, a reserved, quiet introvert, not ready for boyfriends, still laughing when the word sex is mentioned. Christy, she likes Peter, but since she lacks confidence she is trying to set Litsa up with him. Litsa is as close as Christy will ever come to Peter. Litsa has always been pretty, thick brown hair, wavy, but never frizzy. The best shoes out of everyone in class- Air Maxes, Doc Martins; they made up for her flat chest. Christy puts her arm around Peter’s shoulder and pulls him down towards her; towards her stout stubby face. She reminds me of a doll my aunt kept behind a glass cupboard, porcelain face, shiny pink cheeks, demented pale green glow radiating from her eyes. She needs to talk to him she says, so she drags him out of the room. Litsa rolls her eyes. She knows what it’s about. She’s never been kissed. Christy said Peter is going to be Litsa’s first kiss. Christy hasn’t been kissed either. However, she did see her sister having sex once. She told us all about it the day after it happened. She explained the sounds, the moans, the creaks and the slipper that hit her in the head when her sister saw her. Her sister’s boyfriend is in jail now. He killed some Armenian guy who hit on his girlfriend; stabbed him in the neck.

People on crack proclaim muffin joke to be lame

Believe it or not but a few foolish few have come out of the woodworks, (all of a sudden they feel brave because they know I won't hurt them since they are prego or otherwise insane) to tell me that my muffin joke is not funny. That's like saying Marilyn Monroe wasn't beautiful or Elvis wasn't talented or McGreevey wasn't a flaming chocolate filled doughnut lover. How can the muffin joke not be funny? It's not even an opinion, it just is. It's a given. Nevertheless, I am leaving it up to you, those who post comments, those who care to. Is the muffin joke funny (please remember the delivery).
And the joke: Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Whew, it sure is hot in here." The other muffin turns and says, "AHHHH!! A talking muffin!"
There you have it. I'll be here all week. Try the veal it's excellent.

For better

You have to check out this website http://www.forbetterlife.org
There's a link right off my blog--to the right.
It's become my new favorite. There is still so much good out there and so much to inspire us as teachers and as people. We get caught up in our own lives, in work and rushing and getting things done and moving faster and becoming the best that we forget the focal point of even being here to begin with- being a good person. This year it is my personal mission to create more compassionate kids. I hate complaining about kids these days, how they behave, how they don't have manners, how they just don't care. It's about time we as teachers took into our own hands to truly make a difference. Teaching them tempo and beat in music and history facts, math equations, symbolism and persuasive writing is all useful, but this is what will make them better people (hopefully)- the ability to be compassionate, appreciate what they have, understand strength and tolerance and perseverance. It is only if we take the initiative that we will inspire our kids to do better and be better people.

How to ensure a long-lasting friendship

It's been a number of years now that I have honestly been looking for the right formula to a true, sturdy friendship; one that can endure any shit that happens. I've had the transient friends, the ones that seem to be around for a year or so then vanished, the ones that dissipated after college and I get to see once a year at group gatherings, the friends that weren't really friends at all, but needed me for something or other, the ones that I lost touch with when they moved or I lost interest in their bullshit, the ones that were friends because it was easy or appropriate because our parents were friends, or they were friends with another friend.
Then I've had the ones that have really and truly been there. (You know who you are people. Much love to ya'! )The ones that are there time and time again. I have to say I am blessed to have a select few friends that are always there and even if I don't see them for weeks or months (as it happens sometimes with work and school and life) we can pick up right where we left off, the space around us full of conversation and laughter and pure unrestricted joy. So I've been analyzing the true friends...what makes them so reliable, what makes them so trustworthy and tolerable. What makes a good friendship? After much reflection, analysis and discussion, I've come up with the answer. Food. It's food that keeps us united and food that keeps us getting together. A friendship based on food can never go wrong. Friends that eat together, stay together. Don't laugh, this is for real. Think of those friends that you really just enjoy eating, drinking, pigging out with...the ones you are most comfortable around. The ones you can tell anything to over carrot cake, ice cream or cupcakes, mini pizza bagels, chips and salsa, a hot dog or sushi. And when you get full from laughing and eating and drinking, you feel ok unbuttoning your pants and exhaling in satisfaction. Those are the people that are worth having around. Those are ultimately the friends that are there when it's most inconvenient for them. Those are the friends worth having.

Elvis lives!

Picture this- Friday night, Olive Branch, 2005. Bacardi Red Hot Road Trip, always a good time. That's me with my tongue sticking out (left), Cass all drunkied up (right), Crys-tal peeking over the back, and our new friend...Mini Elvis. That's right, that little dude, weird how you can't tell because of the angled picture, but he's a midget. He's pinching his midget nipple in this picture reacting to Gil taking the picture screaming out, "Give me sexy!" We were having a blast before the midget, but after...well then it became priceless. Midgets 2005! Woo.